BOUND

What did I get myself into?
These steel chains are too difficult to undo
How did I ever stray from Your plan?
I’m hating everything I am
My God, my God, please forgive me
Show me your unfailing mercy
Get me out of this mess
I’m afraid I’m settling for less
How do I break these chains I’ve made
When I’ve wandered off the path You’ve laid?
My weakness has become my biggest sin
And I’m binding myself again
Many friendly souls warned me of this road I’m on
I’m afraid to turn back; I’m too far-gone
The strength I need is the strength I lack
And I don’t have enough for the journey back
Free me from these chains that bind me
Take away the will inside me
Lead me back from where I left
I don’t want to settle for less
I’m too far away from home
Bound with chains I created on my own
What did I get myself in?
I’m binding myself again

 

CLOUDY VISION

I look and try to see
Beyond the fog surrounding me.
The choices I need to make,
My journey at stake,
Dependent on indecisive me.
And how could I make such a wise decision
With such cloudy vision
When I can’t see beyond today?
And why must this be?
That I have to determine my destiny,
On such a cloudy day?

 

FIRST AND LAST

What happened to my Love,
Once held dear to my heart?
What happened to the days I vowed
We would never be apart?

How could I ever dare
To leave my best Friend,
The One Who’d always love me
Right to the very end?

What happened to my longing
To always be near You?
What happened to my desire
To let You choose what we’d do?

How can I prove to You
I couldn’t have been more wrong?
How did I ever leave You?
Oh, it’s been too long…

How are You doing?
How have You been?
Is there ever a chance
We could start all over again?

‘Cause You were my first Love
And I want You to be my last
Can we forget what was between us?
Can we put it in the past?

I know I was the one to leave You
You don’t have to come back to me
I’m sorry I let things come between us
But please accept my apology

And yet You’ve been constantly waiting
For me to find
You never stopped loving me
I never left Your mind

Oh Lord, I don’t deserve You
I could never repay
I don’t deserve Your light, Your love
That’s with me every day

So I’m not gonna let things come between us
Like I did in the past
‘Cause You were my first Love, Jesus
And will be my last

 

HEART'S DECEIT

My heart is deceitful
Above all things
Speaking of such “truths”
Of what I need
Those truths become a tragedy
I’m told to follow my heart
How can I follow something I cannot trust?
It leads me down different paths
Different days
And which path should I take?
The next day it will change
How can I follow something so unstable?
How can I take two paths if I’m unable?
Declaring a path to love,
And a path to loneliness
And the next day they’re on a turntable.
I’ve lived from my heart
Many times before
And love came many times
Knocking on heart’s door
And I was too naïve to not follow it.
Well, love’s not here anymore
And my heart said it would be with me forever
Where has it gone?
What have I built my trust upon?
Will I learn from past mistakes?
Unforgotten heartaches?
How can one trust something that so easily breaks?
It’s deceived me too many times before
I’m not taking its road anymore
I’ve chosen a higher one…
An unsuspected trail,
The path of Love…
For Love never fails.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?”
-Jeremiah 17:9



IDENTITY

Lost behind a wardrobe of faces
A new mask for each setting
If none seem to fit quite right
Is there one that I’m forgetting?

When the crowds change with the seasons
And society determines who’s to fit in
Who do I run to when I’m all alone
And I don’t know the One within?

When I’m feeling empty,
And loneliness screams louder than the music I blare
When my heart is bleeding and my soul is dying,
Where do I place my fear?

When my hunger is insatiable
Always left incomplete
Do I ever really conquer
When left feeling utter defeat?

If I do the things I don’t want to
And don’t do the things I do
Is who I am determined by unfulfilled intentions
Or unintended impromptu?

If I don’t know who I am
Who should I portray?
When I’m lost behind a joyful face
Does that mean I am okay?

If I’m just a character in a story
And I don’t seem to fit the scene
Am I playing the wrong role?
Or am I meant to be drama queen?

If who I am is what you see
And all the sudden I change
Is who I am what you saw before?
Or who I was, re-arranged?

If I can display who you are
But have trouble being me
Am I who I play best?
Or do I have a lost identity?

And if all You are,
Is who I wish to be
Is who I am what I display now
Or what I’d like to see?

It seems that I feel more alive
When I display You
And when I die and let You live
I am made anew

So forget about who I am
See who I’m trying to be
Because who You are
Is meant to be
My identity

 

IMMORTALITY

So immortal we pretend to be
Living life half-heartedly
Buried passion underneath
School, work, TV
And meaningless nothings
That can’t even take up six feet
And while we make up an excuse
For every vanity replacing moments of life we lose
We’re digging our way
To endless graves
In a cemetery we create
To fill with lost, lonely, unloved souls
To match our hearts’ plentiful holes
That could have lived and been loved
If we only knew of
The fatal plague of not fully living
Takes others with us
But we have a chance
To take another stance
Be the one who dies
In order to live
In order to sprout
In order to birth new life
From death
Is that not immortal?
Is that not what we want from life?
To know that our lives
Did not just die
But multiplied
In bringing life
To those around us
Even after our time

 

MANNEQUIN

I knew a girl once who did the greatest impression of a mannequin.
Her plastered smile was always appealing,
And her painted mask always just right.
Well, I saw her recently
And her plastered smile was revealing
The chipped glue underneath.
Her smile was no longer plastered anymore.
Her face paint was smearing with tears she’d never met before.
As a mannequin, she had never been so broken,
But she had never felt so real in her life.

 

OXYMORON

Stop where you are
You’ve gotten so far
You’ve reached the place
Where your dreams and reality meet
And you’re too tough to show
You’re disappointed with where you are
You’re unsatisfied with contentment
You die to live and live to die
Your heart is burning a hole
That spills out your insides
And you’re aching to fill the emptiness
When everything feels so right
And you’re not used to everything feeling so perfect
Secrets wishing to be exposed in the daylight
And you’re just screaming to be known
From the inside out
And you find that sometimes faith
Slips in from a deep-feeling of doubt
You’ve gotten everything you’ve longed for
And yet you still want more
And it seems nothing will fill the craving
That your soul desires to explore
And why does it hurt when everything’s so perfect?
And why do you yearn for something to go wrong?
Maybe it’s because life’s never been as it should be
But really Perfection is where you belong
And then you realize why Hosea’s wife
Yearned to run from unconditional Love
My flesh also does stray
Oh, how I don’t deserve this
But I’m not running away
You’re everything I’ve been wishing
And my heart desires to stay
Please don’t ever give up on me

 

PASSION DRIVE

Passion gives life to my soul
To not live out of it
Would put death to my life’s role
Why do people choose routine?
Why live life so serene?
When passion wishes to take the scene
And I know that each attempt I would make
To live a life so fake
Would never be me
I refuse routine
As my false identity
Passion drives me
It’s what I live for
Nothing less
Nothing more
Passion’s taking over me
I’m not putting my life in cruise control
Passion is the engine of my soul
The tire,
That will have its roll
The wheel,
That’s taking control
It drives me

 

QUESTIONS OF EXISTENCE

Everyone’s bound to have an off day,
But what about more than two?
What if you spent the last few years
Realizing off-days are what got you through?

What do you consider an accomplishment?
How do you measure success?
What questions of life are you answering
When ignoring the Creator’s test?

Why do you drown out the silence
Whenever your thoughts run too deep?
Why do you ignore Purpose’ whisper
When asking you to take faith’s leap?

Why does loneliness hurt you so?
Seeking happiness from meaningless lovers
And when you find they’re just as selfish
You go searching for another?

And how do you view yourself?
Is happiness only found with perfect body size?
Then why are countless models killing themselves
After listening to society’s lies?

Have you ever wondered what you’re seeking
When your soul always hungers for more?
What are your reasons for living
When you have nothing you would die for?

Is life supposed to be an endless chase
To reach happiness on the “come-and-go?”
And while going this false route
Why does your conscience hurt you so?

Is life meant to be this painful?
Is love supposed to hurt?
After living your meaningless life
Do you just decay into dirt?

When you don’t know where you’re heading
Which direction should you go?
Are these questions you’d like to keep asking
Or would you really like to know?

And if someone found true answers
Would you take it as reason enough?
And would you be willing to keep on going
When the going gets real tough?

And what if one that found Truth
Said Jesus is the only way
Would you follow ‘til it wasn’t so easy
And then again be led astray?

And now that you’ve heard truth
Have you counted the cost?
Between a life of gain
And a life always lost?

What’s it going to be,
Your response to His call?
Will you live a life worth living?
Or one worth nothing at all?

 

SPIRITUAL MAKEOVER

Looking in the mirror
Feeling a little inferior
She sits with tears in her eyes
‘Cause she’s never begun to realize
All her pain was formed from lies

Feeling she must look like Hollywood minority
Looking nice became top priority
But it’s all done in vain
Oh, what some people do to cover up pain
And how much more visible the spiritual stain

Oh, little girls
Don’t listen to this world
As society screams lies
I hope you realize
True beauty…
Is only found in Me

So swallow your pride
Lay it all aside
I am blemish cure
I will make you pure
Let me take over
This is spiritual makeover
True beauty…
For eternity

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
-Proverbs 31:30

 

STABILITY

Everything’s running along
Nothing can go wrong
But then a huge turn
A new lesson you gotta learn

You think you let go
Let God run the show
Slowly emotions coming back
When will you get cut some slack?

You’re spirit’s warring inside
You wanna scream, you wanna hide
Find it’s all a dream
With you on the winning team

Oh, if life were that easy
If emotions were so breezy
Maybe hearts would never be broken
Maybe pain would never be awoken

But we hafta face reality
Stop living in a fantasy
Of a world that’s never changing
Of a heart needing no re-arranging

But child, when the pain gets to you
When everything turns and you don’t know what to do
Turn to Me, I’m able
The only thing that will always remain stable

Wanna be there through it all
Wanna catch you when you fall
Just let go, you have the ability
Let Me be your stability

 

SUBSTITUTING THE ABSOLUTES

How easily we substitute
Every lie for every absolute
Because we’re free to believe
Our own truth
How easily we’ve been deceived
Every religion clashing with what we believe
Forming different beliefs by every book we read
Every example we see
And every person proclaiming truth
With opinion
We think to be free
Means to state our mind
Claim our rights
And we ignore the liberty
That Jesus Christ died to set us free
And we’re binding our own wrists
We’re banging our fists
We’re chaining ourselves down
But all the while, we’re claiming
A new freedom we’ve found
Because love,
Yeah love makes the world go round
Or at least that’s how musicians put it
And we believe every minute of it
And there’s maybe some truth to it
But the truth is, we’ve substituted
Fact with feeling
Separation from God with healing
And it’s got me wondering
When did the serpent speak to us?
Or did he ever leave us?
Because we’re substituting
People with God
Beauty with immodesty
Worshipping with TV
And I don’t think we even realize
We’re being deceived
Lust of the flesh
Lust of the eyes
The pride of life
Satan always appears as an angel of light
And somehow, we think
He has our best intentions in mind
Because nobody, not even the devil
Could be so evil
Murderer, Thief, Father of Lies
Stealer, Killer, Destroyer
He’s got us all blind
And somehow we’ve substituted
Satan’s lies
For Jesus Christ
Now’s the time to open our eyes
Substitute the absolute lies
With absolute Truth


UNCONDITIONAL

Don’t believe in your past
Don’t be downcast
God has forgiven you
I have too
I always asked God to let me love and forgive like Him
So when the lights fade away and it grows dim
You’re just teaching me
To love unconditionally
I won’t bring it up, if you don’t want me to
I won’t shout it out, if it hurts you
You’ve trusted me to tell truth
Pain exposed, I wish to soothe
I don’t believe in what you were
The thought didn’t even occur
The love I have for who you are now
Takes away every thought of doubt
I said I’d be there for you, my friend
And that’s how it will always end
Your past doesn’t make you
He has made you new
I will always love you
No matter what you do

 

WARRIOR

Don’t doubt my strength
I know I may be a girl
But underneath me is a warrior
Just waiting to be revealed
The time will come
When you will see
All His strength
Inside of me
Just be patient
Don’t give up on me
I know I may fall down
But I’ll always get back up
For deep inside of me
I have a Strength
Way greater than me
Just waiting to be revealed


WEATHERED HEART

You left your heart open
For far too long
Thought it was invincible
Couldn’t be more wrong

You didn’t use an umbrella
To shelter it from rain
You didn’t know storms
Could weather so much pain

Now you’re left
With a torn, weathered heart
You’ve tried to mend it some
But it’s easily torn apart

And your heart
Once thought to easily survive
Is just dying
Dying to stay alive

In an attempt to
Rescue itself from more pain
It closed itself up
To shelter floods of rain

And the door of your heart
Was shut to many-a helpful knock
And in order to survive
It would have to unlock

It would have to open up
To see blue skies again
And it would need to let the Son
Take the place of sin

It would have to risk dying
In order to survive
And it would have to open up
If it ever wanted to thrive

And with one last gasping
Breath of air
It cried out with strength
You never knew existed there

It cried out for mercy
It cried out for grace
It cried out for healing
To take place

It cried out for forgiveness
Of not opening up before
When the Helper chose
To knock on its door

And it opened up
Wider than ever
It chose to risk everything
If it was its last endeavor

And the floods came
And the rain
But it wasn’t like ones before
It washed away the pain

And the Son came
He helped your heart thrive
And with His help
Your heart will always survive

You leave your heart open now
Never to close
Sometimes storms may come
But they leave with rainbows